February Connection

Domestic Abuse is a topic that seems to get itself swept under the rug. It's one of those topics that isn't really a comfortable thing to talk about. The literature that we read that addresses this topic is A Thousant Splendid Suns. Rasheed was the abuser to both his wives Mariam and Laila. Rasheed was volient and absusive. He not only physically abusived them but mentally as well. If either of them did anything to oppose him they would get beat with a belt or punched or even strangled. Some may say that the culture that he grew up in brought him up to be that way. In his belief system which was the more strict Afghan culture women were just property that the male could do anything to. The women had no rights and would be punished severly if they fought back. Another issue that was raised in his culture was the value of man v.s woman. In his society the man was valued more. They had all the rights in the household. The women had to follow orders; if the man said wear a burqa then she had to wear a burqa. Women were not allowed to go unaccompanied without a male figure from their family. When Laila became pregnant; it was a boy according to Rasheed. He didn't want a girl and that's because males play a more important role in his society. This mentality is still all around the world. A Thousand Splendid Suns goes into somewhat recent times and there are still societies that treat women as lesser people. Because women are viewed as not being equals and sometimes as property the domestic abuse that I refered to can come into play. Even in more advanced culutures like our own domestic abuse still occurs. Just because we view ourselves as more culturally advanced doesn't mean that there are not indiviuals among us that view women as property or think they shouldn't have the same rights as men. I know this from experience because I had a childhood friend who had to experience this first hand. Her father would beat her mother when she didn't do something the right way or to his liking. He would also yell and scream at the children. Luckily, my friend was removed from the situation and was adopted by a loving family. In a lot of the cases the women who are in the abusive relationship try and reason why they are treated badly. Is it really their fault? Didn't they do a good enough job? Mariam does this in the book when she always tries to cook a perfect meal for Rasheed. She does everything in her power to please her husband but that is not enough. My opinion on this topic is that domestic abuse is a horrible thing. I know that maybe from someone who great up in a different culture may view it just as a punishment for wrong doing, but let's be serious. Does anyone deserve to have their brains bashed in because dinner wasn't perfect or because the house isn't clean enough? Absolutely and never NO! I can understand if their are disagreements and agruements but extreme violence is never and answer. I don't mean this to put down women but men are often stronger than them and that puts them at a disadvantage. To physically beat a women to punish her is ethically and morally wrong.

January Connection

Well first off let me just say....wow I am loving the book we are reading right now. A Thousand Splendid Suns is an awesome book, my expectations for the book were not that high. My take on the book so far is that I feel extremely bad for Mariam, she doesn' t have anyone who is completely stable that is there for her all the time. Her mother has a right to be bitter about what Jalil did to them but just because Mariam didn't hate him too doesn't mean that her mom had the right to be mean to her. Mariam's mother, miserable women, I think she really did care for Mariam and had a well meaning intentions in protecting her. I believe that she could have gone about it in a much gentlier way than she did. Jalil was really nice when he came to visit Mariam but seriously what a jerk. Be a man and step up and deal with the consequences of your mistakes. Just because Mariam was the product of his infadelity doesn't mean that she doesn't deserve the same love as his other children. I think that Mariam never really had the chance to experience real love other than from Mullah Faizullah but he couldn't be there all the time. When Jalil "made" her marry Rasheed I knew that would be the end of Mariam. So far up to where we have read is what you would typically think of happening. A women is basically a slave to her husband and must do whatever he bids her to do. I think this is absolutly outrageous, I know that is the belief system in that particular Afghan culture, but who are they kidding. Women are just as intelligent and capable as men I don't see why they should be lowered in the society's eyes. In most cultures and socities in the world at least the more industrialized ones women are seen as equals. Personally I think that's how it should be. But there are still some of those cultures where women are treated like dirt and are only good for cooking, cleaning, and producing offspring. We have so much more potenital than that; I think all women should have the opportunity to show what we've got!!